Portfolio · est. whenever I felt like it
Professional cat.
Available for naps.
Ten years' experience sitting on keyboards, knocking things off tables, and staring at walls that contain nothing. References available on request, and ignored.
Selected work
Guest stars
Cats from around the internet, sent in as pull requests. Every photo goes through the same checks as mine before it can be merged, so if your phone tucked your location into the file, crustyimg will catch it and tell you how to remove it. Submit your cat.
No guest stars yet. Yours could be the first.
Services
- Napping — on-site, any surface, especially the one you were about to use.
- Keyboard QA — thorough testing of every key, simultaneously: jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
- Gravity audits — I check whether things on tables still fall. They do.
- Judging — silent, continuous, free of charge.
Rejected shots
Some of my work did not make it past the image linter. Every photo on this site is checked by crustyimg before it goes live, and these four were turned away. You can watch it happen in the open pull request, where each problem is flagged right on the file.
| Photo | What crustyimg said | My statement |
|---|---|---|
headshot.jpg | Error: GPS location in a public image | It revealed my secret nap spot. I have moved. |
hero-loaf.jpg | Error: over the 1 MB size budget | I contain multitudes. |
sunbeam.jpg | Warning: photo is stored sideways | It is accurate. That is how I lie. |
hairball.jpg | Error: not a readable image | … |